When I die, bury me in the walls.... 'Mab travels to Morocco - Episode I: Milan'

It is a peculiar feeling, being watched by hundreds of empty eye sockets and laughed at by hundreds of toothy grins... The stories say that one night of the year, all the skeletons leave the walls and gather for a terrifying dance of skulls and bones. Maybe that's why they are behind iron nets and glass panes now. After all, you shouldn't dance in a church....

Milan showed its fascinating hidden corners, thanks to amazing Valeria, who was my first ever couchsurfing host, and hosted us now again after 8 years! Beside the decades-abandoned bank building turned squat and public space, ossuary in St.Bernardino church and the majestic halls of St.Ambrogio church, the whispering galleries with the mind boggling acoustic mastery - or was it really people in the walls speaking to me? - and the best pistachio icecream.... we also had a lazy evening in the Afforio district in another hidden corner of Milan, glass of wine and early summer wamrth. talking about trips that have been and will be.

Dance happened  too, Milan's tribal sister Francesca Pedretti kindly allowed me to join the rehearsal with her students for their upcoming showcase and I loved to see her direct the choreography and improvisations, and catch up after meeting last time in 2010! She has exciting projects going on and I'll be checking it out and letting you know more when I'm back from this journey...

Now it's off to dreamland for a few hours, and then off to the airport in the dawn of next day, first time on a different continent and leaving Europe. Normally I'm so excited I can't sleep the night before traveling, but there is nothing more to pack and noone to say last goodbyes to, so I can quiet my mind and fall asleep with the boarding pass for Morocco under my pillow...

Reverse film photos

So I put the film in the Praktica the other way around and this is what came of it ....

Nothing brings more self - awareness than an intense full body movement. The pain grounds you and forces you to examine exactly why you are doing what you are doing. You're acutely aware of your limits, and the importance of reaching them, but not overstepping too much. You realize that discomfort at the moment means progress along the way. It is good for you. It makes you wonder what else you're capable of when you step out of your cozy comfort zone and trust yourself with new thoughts, ideas, actions. It makes you question mindless routines, value your time, see harmful patterns and dissolve them, build new habits with purpose and awareness. And even when you're dead on your feet, you've never felt more alive. Our bodies were made to be lived in. They are awesome as they are, right now, and yet here is always room for improvement, and the tools to change your life at any moment are in your hands. Isn't it awesome?

Spala som nekonečne dlho, ale noci pre mňa aj tak nemajú žiadny význam. Slnko som nevidela už niekoľko dní. Akoby čas prestal existovať a krv v mojich žilách sa zmenila na piesok, dokázala som len sedieť. A ležať. Vnímať, ale nereagovať. Klapky na oči, nevidím a nepočujem, urobím to zajtra, ešte chvíľu blažene ignorovať všetko čo sa mi sype na hlavu, veď ešte môžem dýchať. Ešte som nad vecou.
Bol to sen čo ma prebudil, absurdne a trefne, Smrť sedela oproti mne na stoličke a robila si nároky na moje dieťa. Iba jedno. Veď ich mám viac. Ale ešte s ním mám trochu času. Kým dospeje. "Prečo si ho nezoberieš hneď?!" kričala som na ňu. Ale teraz už asi rozumiem.
Ešte je čas. Ešte sa všetko dá zmeniť. Ako keď som sadla do auta ktorému chýbal volant .... a našla som ho pod sedadlom. Vziať si späť kontrolu nad tým kam smerujem, a ako. Už len keby som pochopila význam tých ručne-maľovaných hodvábnych šatiek ...

I shoot film

After a long time of nostalgic dreaming I finally got one ... the camera of my childhood, when I learned the how and what of photography and spent hours in the dark room... Praktica! So my face has been covered by the camera pretty often. It looks something like this...

Re-learning all the numbers and controls, I took it on a test walk around Vienna, and with assistance of Sebastian and his old-time light meter tried to capture my beloved city on film....

Then my boyfriend and me were off to Banska Bystrica, Slovakia. The traditional Radvansky Market where Miroslav met his falconer friends. Meeting up with my amazing cousins whom I see too little.

A detour to my grandparent's kitchen where the whole family still meets. 

Back in Vienna, where else should we end up than a coffeehouse? 

And returning from a week of traveling, my cats really seemed to miss me ... like cats do ;)

You can expect more photos as I figure things out ... 

 

Photos of me are by my man Miroslav Polacek

How do you meet people like that?

So this is how. (contains made up words because this is how it is)
You feel it, in your belly, in your fingertips, that they could be an important part of your life if you are brave enough to make the first step. Start a conversation. Introduce yourself. Ask them out, coffee and talk. Tell them how it is. Don't worry, you'll recognize them, just don't dismiss the signs. Like the feeling of familiarity even when you see them for the first time. The urgency of your heartbeat that's telling you to GO! DO SOMETHING! DON'T LET THEM LEAVE! because if you do, you'll probably never meet them again, and you'll only be left with regret. Be brave next time, risk looking like an idiot - you won't, by the way. Either it works out and you win a friend, or they'll forget about it pretty quickly afterwards.

You'll recognize them because they do something non-ordinary, and it draws you in, fascinates you, in a I-want-to-be-you-when-I-grow-up way, but also not, because in the light of their cool, you need to have your own cool to qualify as their friend. You know what I mean?

They will inspire you, make you smile and laugh and contemplate and realize things, they will always like you-you and never be ashamed of you in company of their (also cool) friends. They will believe in you. Moreover, they will make you believe in yourself.

You will meet them at your workplace, maybe just for a while every day, them telling stories about foreign lands that must be made up, but you'll be drawn to them, you'll wonder and you'll ask them to meet for a coffee and talk, which ends up being the best thing you did for your soul in a long time. And the stories, they end up being true.

You will see them in the subway, and be paralyzed with the sudden want to know this person, hesitating till the last moment to act and hand them a hastily written number to attempt connection. Sometimes they get back to you. Sometimes they don't. It can be scary to connect to a stranger. But awesome afterwards. Kinda like jumping from a plane or swimming with sharks.

You will notice their style, their different-ness, aura, red lipstick, outrageous statements, you will catch a word that resonates and draws you in. You will find your own in places where you feel good, feel alive and in love with the world, almost painful in its clarity. They will get you on a level that happens only in cheesy movies you wish you lived in sometimes.

You will receive a poem written about you, honest and a little bit uncomfortable because it is so open in its observations, and you could ignore it, laugh it off like the others are telling you to, but who writes poems these days and lays their heart open and risk being trampled to the ground by complete strangers? Extraordinary people. Sometimes you wish you were one of them. And I'll tell you what, you are.

Extraordinary people have extraordinary friends. Be brave, listen to your instincts and find them. You'll know it when you see it.